The Best Gifts for Impossible Men - Nada Manley

I am already bored. I’ll admit it. I hate shopping for men. And I don’t mean to sound all negative or anything, but I stink at it. Or maybe, my husband stinks at gift-receiving because he is impossible. To shop for, I mean. Otherwise he’s cute and thoughtful and stuff. I love him, so I keep trying, with varying degrees of success. But in the same way that I think I’m an expert at avoiding car crashes because I’ve been in so many, I also feel uniquely qualified to select men’s gifts because I’ve failed at so many. This is hard-won knowledge, you guys.

I have a few strikes against me, from the start. First of all, I’m uber-girly. And men’s clothes are not. Neither are their socks. Or their shoes. Should I buy the blue shirt or the gray, I ask myself? Blue pants or gray pants. Blue shoes or gray shoes. Or go crazy and mix it up with a little chestnut, aka brown. I’m such a risk-taker. There are very few polka dots. A severe lack of florals. And a discouraging shortage of pink., unless you count the pale pink oxford shirt, and whose husband needs another oxford.

Like I said, I struggle. And so I have to look farther and dig deeper. in searching for gifts for the impossible men in my life, I’ve stumbled across a few gems for the impossible to shop for men in your life. (Except that they’re not literally gems, because husbands don’t, as a rule, like sparkly stuff. I learned that the hard way back in ’07). Here, my men’s gift guide, the 2017 edition.

Grooming Stuff

You know when men buy you lingerie, or vacuum cleaners, or something equally self-serving, under the guise of buying you a thoughtful gift. Well, it’s payback time. Bahahaha. He may like these a little, but you’ll like him a lot more if he uses them. Win-win.

Because you want him to take care of the hair he has, and hold on to it. Help him prevent hair loss with a hims hair kit, $44 a month, forhims.com

Face Moisturizer for Men 4oz - All natural & organic anti wrinkle Anti-Aging Daily Facial lotion - For Oily, Dry and aging skin types

Mr. Smith All natural & organic anti-aging moisturizer, $22, Amazon

RUGGED & DAPPER - Shampoo & Body Wash for Men - 16oz - Organic & Natural Ingredients Moisturize Hair & Fight Dandruff – All-In-One Sulfate Free Soap- Head to Toe for the Entire Body

RUGGED & DAPPER – Shampoo & Body Wash for Men, $20, Amazon

Fresh Breath Oral Mouth Rinse - Dentist Recommended, Cool Minty Flavor - Treats Bad Breath - Squeaky Clean 16oz

Squeaky Clean Fresh Breath Oral Mouth Rinse, $16, Amazon

CRUX Deluxe Shaving Kit, $59.99, TouchofModern.com

V76 by Vaughn Lip Balm, $9, BlueMercury.com

Bar Stuff

Bar supplies are about as original as ties, but there are beverage-related gifts that are useful, attractive, and even a little original.

Johnny Catch Magnet – Bottle Opener, $25, Amazon

USA Beer Cap Map with Dark Stain – Craft Beer Cap Holder, $35, Amazon. He can keep it in that man cave he plans to have someday.

This is really pretty and has something to do with beer. uKeg 64 Pressurized Growler for Craft Beer – Stainless Steel, $350, Amazon

This also doubles as a decorative room accessory. SPARQ Home Vodka Shooter Set with Ash Caddy (4 Shotters), $45, Amazon

The new man bag. YETI Hopper Flip 12 Portable Cooler, Fog Grey/Tahoe Blue, $300

Techy Stuff

Disclaimer: I am notoriously bad at picking technology. These look cute, though.

Norton Core Secure WiFi Router, Built-in Network, Device and Antivirus Security, Smart Parental Controls, Replaces Wireless Router

A router you won’t want to hide. Norton Core Secure WiFi Route, $300, Amazon

Dodow - Sleep Aid Device - More Than 100.000 Users Are Falling Asleep Faster with Dodow!

Not that he snores or anything. Dodow Sleep Aid Device , $59, Amazon.

G.U.S. [2017 Update] 2-Sided Drawer and Desk Organizing Pouch - Classic Gray with Orange

For all the messy cords. G.U.S. [2017 Update] 2-Sided Drawer and Desk Organizing Pouch, $25, Amazon

LAPA – Blue Find everything that matters, from keys to your phone, $29, Amazon

Coolest looking radio ever. Lexon Tykho Rubber Radio Green, $157, Amazon

For the music lover. Vinyl Styl Deep Groove Record Washer System, $70, Amazon

LED Speaker, ELEGIANT Portable LED Lighting Speaker Stereo Magic Cube Mini Wireless 4.0 Speaker with Microphone for Smartphones iPhone iPad Samsung Tablet Laptop MP3 CD Player

Colorful little speaker. ELEGIANT Portable LED Lighting Speaker Stereo Magic Cube Mini Wireless 4.0 Speaker , $26, Amazon

Wood Stuff

Why wood? Because it’s sleek and warm and masculine all at the same time.

BOYON Fun Design Clock Cube-Shaped Digital Alarm Clock Office Desk Alarm Clock Sound-Sensitive Creative Table Wooden Clock with LCD Display for Kid, Home, Daily Life, Heavy Sleepers(Beige)

For his desk. BOYON Fun Design Clock Cube-Shaped Digital Alarm Clock, $13, Amazon

That’s a lot of words to describe a mouse, so it must be good. Bamboo Wireless Optical Mouse Healthy Sweat-resistant Anti-radiation Wireless Mouse, $17, Amazon

ZENS Wooden Desk Organizer with Expendable Phone Holder, Space Saver for Office Supplies, Pens Holder, Papers, Accessories Storage

ZENS Wooden Desk Organizer with Expendable Phone Holder,, $43, Amazon

This conversation piece is a clock/timer/puzzle based on a da Vinci drawing. Academy da Vinci Clock, $14, Amazon

Como Audio: Solo - Wireless Music System with Internet Radio, Spotify Connect, Wi-Fi, FM, and Bluetooth - Walnut/Black

This combines wood and technology. Como Audio: Solo – Wireless Music System with Internet Radio, Spotify Connect, Wi-Fi, FM, and Bluetooth – Walnut/Black, $299, Amazon