When you’re raising girls, you think about confidence a lot. Sometimes, I get discouraged by the fact that some kids are born oozing it, while others are perpetually insecure. Where does this elusive thing called confidence come from, and how can we have more of it?
I believe that true confidence comes from knowing that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It comes from knowing we are loved, and loving others. I also know where confidence doesn’t come from.
It doesn’t come from compliments or excessive praise.
It doesn’t come from perfection.
It doesn’t even come from a closet full of cute shoes.
I know. Crazy.
But even if your heart and your faith and all the big stuff is just where it needs to be, we all still need a little ego boost, now and then. Fortunately, it’s easier then you think to boost your confidence when you’re feeling blah. Here, 5 quick, simple ways to make you feel more confident, today.
Have you ever noticed how self-conscious you feel when you have coffee breath? Or when your hair is frizzy and your hangnails are, well, hanging? Good grooming is so fundamental that we often overlook how critical it is to confidence. Start with hygiene, naturally. Nothing makes you feel better then smelling fresh and pretty, and clean smelling hair is an instant morale booster. (As I write this, I have just spent a couple of days with frizzy, fluffy hair, trying to avoid washing it right before a color appointment. I can barely walk through a door. So I am speaking from experience.) Feeling yucky and sweaty and bad-breathy are guaranteed confidence killers, but there are others. Raggedy nails. (I don’t do this often enough, but freshly manicured hands always give me a lift!) Dumpy clothes. Beat-up shoes. Shiny skin. Polish is all about paying attention to the details, so slap some lipstick on and face the day with fabulousness.
Clean Out Your Purse
I’ll spare you the story of the time I removed handful after handful of my girls’ discarded junk: empty Clif Bar wrappers, long forgotten plastic toys, a leaky bottle of bubble solution, frantically searching for a my wallet, while the clerk waited. (Note to self: A black wallet in a black-lined bag is a panic attack waiting to happen.) Junk accumulates in my purse quickly, so I use those small pockets of time between appointments, or when my kids are in music lessons, to clean the junk out of my purse, and it’s such an instant mood and confidence booster. Those of you whose purses are always neat and who don’t have little people (and, let’s face it, your own bad hoarding habits) to junk up your purse will never know the joy of a freshly cleaned out bag. It’s epic. The same goes for cleaning the discarded water bottles, crumpled wrappers and other debris from your car. Life-changing.
Sometimes, we feel less confident because we feel ineffective, or sluggish, or like we are wading through mud and getting nowhere. The easiest way to snap out of this is to do something productive and positive. Organize a few drawers. Clean out your Inbox. Read one of the books from the stack by your bed. Sign up for that marathon. Doing something that you’ve been procrastinating is such a liberating feeling, and it can even be addictive, prompting you do to do cross more and more off your list. Yes!
Break a Bad Habit
There is nothing more negative and fatalistic than hearing someone say: “That’s just how I am.” Too often, we get stuck in old ideas of how we are based on how we have been in the past. We decide that we’re unathletic, for example, or disorganized, or that we always procrastinate, and then we use those tendencies as an excuse for not changing the things in our lives that aren’t working for us. Then, when we feel fed up, we decide we want to change everything, right away. Instead, choose one small habit to change today. Whether you decide to start doing squats or stop drinking soda, one small positive change can lead to another, and another, and soon, you have managed to completely transform an area of your life.
Fake It Til You…
I know it seems simple, but stand tall, with your shoulders back and head held high, and walk enegergetically. Nothing helps you feel more confident then adopting the body language of confident people. Positive body language has even been shown to boost mood in mild cases of depression. Smile, saunter, even strut a little. Sometimes, I imagine I’m on a runway and the world is admiring my cute outfit, but then again, everyone does that.
Oh. Well. Maybe it’s just me then.
I hope that you found these confident boosting tips helpful. Do you have any tried-and-true techniques of your own? If so, please share them below!
Nada Manley says
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment Breelagh. Feeling comfortable in your own skin and presenting yourself in a way that feels true to you really does impact your confidence. It’s amazing! Spending those extra few minutes to put that effort in can really change your entire day.
Breelagh duhaime says
This is great! Thanks for sharing! 🙂 These tips wiil help me with my own confidence because I can relate to a lot of these things. When I don’t shower or wash my hair I feel more self-conscious & I feel as though everyone knows or can see that I didn’t wash my hair. I have an oily scalp, so I kind of need to wash my hair everyday to feel my best, and dry shampoo still doesn’t make me feel much better. I am going to be trying Function of Beauty shampoo & conditioner soon & I’m hoping it will help me dramatically with my hair & scalp since the formula is customized to my features.
I also feel self-conscious when I don’t put cover-up on a blemish or wear something that is cool, comfortable & stylish. These things are essential to me, since I tend to get warm when I am nervous or in the limelight in public, and I take care of my handicapped boyfriend with everything he needs, even if it’s just adjusting him wherever we are, so I tend to get a workout throughout the day. I also like to stay comfortable because without that, I can’t stop thinking about how uncomfortable the thing I’m wearing is, and it distracts me from being confident. Wearing something that is stylish and truly represents me is also essential to my wardrobe because I don’t like to stand out too much since I like to be a little bit more in the background of situations, but I also like to flaunt style whenever I feel comfortable, depending on the situation I am in. If I’m going to the doctor’s office or I’m hanging out with my dad, I dress down. But when I’m going out with my boyfriend to dinner or to a party, I like to wear something beautiful that stands out a bit more. I especially wear bright clothing, makeup, & some jewelry in such situations. Other times I dress very casually but I still have a personal style that I carry through (bohemian, laid-back, simple).