I’ll admit it. Clothes can be confusing.
Stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before. When I was 12, back in the 1980s (yes, I am that old… thanks for not noticing!) I found a plaid power suit in Vogue and begged my immensely talented mom to make one for my 50-pound body. I wanted the total look: the shoulders, the hair, and most of all, the hips. I wanted the curves and the swagger of a woman twice my age.
The curves never did come. The age, however, has arrived.
Today, I no longer want to look older, but I don’t want to look 12 again either, or even 22. I want my apparent age to fall into that vague, undefined period between grad student and grandma. Okay, maybe that’s too broad. Let’s just say I no longer aspire to look like I’m in my 20s, but I’d like to look like I am 30-something pretty much forever.
And to do that, I’m going to need the right clothes.
Before I go on, let me just state for the record that if you are a young mom in your 20s, you can wear pretty much anything you want. Anything. And if you’re in your early 30s and look like you’re 20-something, you can still wear pretty much anything you want. After that, the rules change a little. I covered a few of them here, and here’s a follow-up. Fortunately, learning how not to dress old is simpler than you think!
Let me illustrate. First up, this silky mustard-colored Thakoon blouse.
This blouse may look innocent enough, but it should come with a warning label.
And so should this blouse:
And this suit:
These are all examples of old clothes.
In your 20s, they’re IRONIC.
In your 40s, they’re AGING.
In your 70s, they’re ELEGANT. (Except for that middle blouse. No redeeming value there.)
The difference (and forgive me if I repeat myself) is in the details. Cut, color, and fabric all play a part in making an item look too-something.
Here, a few more examples:
Too Old
This is an understated version of the mom jean, and because it’s a little bad and not deliberately bad, like the faded, super-high-waisted trendy mom jeans that are so hot right now, it’s instantly aging. Another word about mom jeans. If you’re a mom, or old enough to be a mom, don’t wear them. The irony is lost, in my opinion, and no one needs to look shorter or lumpier than they are.
Too Young
Just Right
Notice the jeans that I dubbed “just right” are still youthful and fresh and a little edgy. Some of you may find them too trendy, but in my opinion, this is an acceptable level of trendiness without veering into frumpy category. (Another note about hip jeans. You’ve probably heard me go on and on—I do like to hear myself talk!—about the absolute need for every single woman over the age of 20 to own one sleek, slim/skinny/straight pair of clean jeans with no rips, tears, fading or whiskering in a dark, even denim wash. They can be dressed up and down and are oh so flattering, yada yada. I favor the perennially popular AG Stilt, but after you invest in these basics, a more relaxed, slightly distressed boyfriend style is next.)
And now, a word about dresses. Some dresses are instantly aging and awful in an obvious way, like these:
Others are not so obvious. Check out these examples:
Too Old
Don’t let the snazzy styling fool you. Taken separately the details (classic sheath in powder blue, high-necked jacket) are questionable but not catastrophic. Together, they are instantly aging.
Too Young
Too many trends, all at once, in a shape that is entirely too sweet, make this dress a disaster for anyone over the age of 21.
Just Right
A bold color, flattering length, and contemporary cut all add up to great style for a woman in her 30s, 40s, and 50s. After 60, if the bold color and dramatic sleeves suit your style, go for it, or choose a classic silhouette in a bold color (or this trendy style in a classic color).
Still confused? Here’s a little trick: Pick the right brand, and then choose a silhouette that is right for your body type, and you can’t go wrong. What are the right brands? Here, a cheat sheet.
Old Brands
Alfred Dunner, Albert Nipon, J. Jill, Lauren Ralph Lauren, and Joan Vass are all geared towards an older customer, but other brands, like Eileen Fisher, Chaus, Chico’s, Donna Morgan, Talbots, and Lane Bryant have been updated and now offer a wider array of styles, so when in doubt, refer to the guidelines above!
Young Brands
These will come as no surprise, for the most part, but stores like Urban Outfitters, Forever 21, Arden B, Bebe, Windsor, Abercrombie, Hollister, Aeropostale and any of the inexpensive trend stores (DOTS, Rainbow) all cater to very young women, and are the age equivalent of the Juniors’ section of a department store. Other stores, like Uniqlo, Topshop, H&M, Old Navy, and Target, appeal to a wider demographic, so the distinction isn’t as clear. Refer to the pointers above. 🙂
Just Right Brands
Anything in the “contemporary” department usually falls into this category, as well as specialty retailers like J. Crew, Loft, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, Zara, Anthropologie, Kate Spade, and Tory Burch. Above guidelines still apply. 🙂
Still confused? Let me wrap it up this way: Shop the right brands at the right stores, and avoid extremes (too short, too tight, too trendy), and you’ll make the right choice every time! Did I miss the mark on any of these? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Nada Manley says
Great question! I definitely recommend dressing for how you look and not the number. People don’t see our age or our size in clothes. 🙂 I generally recommend sticking to basics at Talbots and finding the more fashion or statement pieces by shopping contemporary brands like Antonio Melani, Halogen, Vince Camuto, J. Crew, Anthropologie, and Boden. Shopping the more classic pieces at contemporary brands will ensure that your clothes look fresh and modern, which some of the stores focused on women over 50 often miss. 🙂 I hope that helps! I have many more of my favorite resources in my Fashion Essentials Over 40 Guide and it’s free. 🙂 Just go to nadamanley.com/essentials.
joan says
if a person is 71 but looks young for her age, is it a good idea to stick to the classics like Talbots? or can you recomend any other brands? thank you for this article!
Nada Manley says
This is just my opinion Judy. 🙂 And a generalization for sure. Thanks for the comment!
Judy says
I like Alex Evenings. I’m 60 and young.
Nada Manley says
Hi Deb! I agree! They are both on the “old” list for me too, although almost every store is going to have some modern pieces every season and some awful pieces lol.
Deb says
I think much of your information is helpful and on the mark. But Chico’s is definitely on the old list, more so than JJill. Both are hit or miss depending on the season
Lee h says
I agree with your frumpy definitions, except for the powder blue suit. It’s classic. Classics never go out of style. My grandmother shopped twice a year for clothes. Only Pendleton. Jacket, blouse, skirt, pants, shoes, purse. Classics. They lasted for years. They didn’t have money, but you’d never know by the way she dressed.
Nada Manley says
Thank you!
https://satthep462.com/ says
Great post. I will be dealing with a few of these issues as well..
Nada Manley says
Thanks for introducing me to a new brand. I love it! I took a look and their pieces are modern retro, and not costumey, so provided the silhouettes and colors work for you, I think they are great for women over 40. THey’re beautiful!
Katerina says
I would like to ask if the brand ‘Simple retro’ is suitable for women over 40. I like the retro style and my size is M. Thank you in advance.
TRish says
I have a Chico’s corduroy jacket that I love. And I love Ann Taylor and Loft. Good basic info in your article.
Nada Manley says
Definitely wear what works for you!
Julie says
I love J. Jill clothing!
Jackie says
I wear what I like. I’ve never been into fads or trendy stuff, preferring simple and classic styles. I’m at an age where I dress for myself. I’m old. Short. Overweight. The trifecta. And it’s ok. I often get compliments about what I wear and how I accessorize. Friends , mostly younger, say they want to shop in my closet. Be yourself.
Nada Manley says
I’m so sorry Michelle! I will update the pictures and send you the updated link! I hate it when that happens. Thanks for letting me know!
Michelle says
I would love to see this post but all of the pictures did not come through. is there a way that I can see them?
Nada Manley says
Hi Danielle! Thank you so much! I would love to help! So just to make sure I understand, you are in your 20s, correct? I would say that Chico’s and Talbots are probably on the more mature side for you, although the quality is lovely. If you like to look polished and elegant but to do so in a way that suits your lifestyle and budget, I would stick to modern, updated classics from brands like 1 State, Halogen, Draper James, 1901, Everlane, Theory (expensive but can often find it on Poshmark and Ebay). Polished pieces in neutral colors will always make you look elegant, but keep the silhouettes and fabrics easy to suit your lifestyle. You can also find some great affordable basics at Target, Old Navy, and even Walmart. One of my strategies is to add an item for a client in a very budget friendly price, and then upgrade if that item becomes a go-to. : ) I hope that helps! Let me know if you have any more questions!
Danielle says
I love this blog post! It makes me smile. Question:
How do you help someone really loves polished and elegant? Like someone who enjoys looking at clothes in Chico’s, shop for work in Talbots (love Talbots) but is coming up to 30 and chasing around preschoolers (I am not cleaning messy faces wearing a cardigan from chicos that I saved for lol (so also in budget). Or do I need to update my style?
Nada Manley says
So happy you are finding this helpful Nancy! I know transitions are a challenge. I’m here cheering you! Let me know if you have any questions!
Nancy Cooper says
This was a helpful read. It’s something I’ve been struggling with. I’ve lost 35 lbs in the past year and have gone from a 16 to a 10, which has required me to replace my entire wardrobe. I’m 57 and now that it’s more fun to get dressed every day, I want to look more stylish but I’m not sure what is age appropriate. Currently my stylist is my 18-year-old daughter but I don’t know if I can trust her eye either! You gave me some good things to think about—thanks!
Nada Manley says
I love this Sonia! What a gift that you have. My mom sews beautifully and it is such a blessing to be able to make what you imagine. I’d love to see your designs!
Nada Manley says
Oh Sage. I’m so sorry. That is so frustrating. I will say that it’s such a challenge, and that any store will have some items that look matronly. I hope that you found the suggestions in the email helpful. I am also about to do a post on this, and I’d love your feedback on it. Also, please consider joining my private FB group if you are on FB. We talk about these challenges all the time… https://www.facebook.com/groups/beautymommyvip/
sage says
I’m a very fit 49 and recently got a bunch of clothes at Loft (which you mentioned as being a good place in one of your comments). I was wearing some of these new purchases when a cashier at Ross started asking me about senior discount. She stopped herself midsentence but it caused me to suddenly realize that most of the clothes I’d bought were old lady clothes!!! My husband soon confirmed this. I now feel at a complete loss about what to wear for work. At home I can get away with just about any kind of sexy (aka tight and/or revealing) clothes or the sporty spice look (at least according to my husband), but for work… Ugh. Looking forward to reading the guide you sent in the email.
Sonia says
As of 8/10 (last Friday), I turned 49, I’m 5’5”, 155(60)lbs, with a pouchy belly and live on a very limited income budget…therefore, it’s difficult to find clothes that fit comfortably and look flattering for my age/body type; that’s why I make my own clothing, although I still purchase bits and pieces here and there.
I say all of this to give ideas/inspirations to those who would like to make clothing of professional quality that ACTUALLY FITS/FLATTERS WHEN AND WHERE IT SHOULD WITHOUT “GIVING AWAY” ANYTHING, (I.e., seams, age)!!!! I like to take a commercial pattern, such as Vogue, Simplicity, Burda, etc, and manipulate it to fit the design/“flow” that I’m attempting to convey….
SIMPLE….EASY….ORIGINAL….YOU….
Nada Manley says
Hi JoAnn! Thank you so much for the comment! I totally agree with what you said. “Knowing your proportions and strengths is crucial.” That’s why I go on about body type so much. It’s critical at every age and stage! And I do think white jeans are such a fresh, easy update. I need to steal your quote about “a trendy shape needs a classic color…” Perfect!
JoAnn says
I liked this article. I am plus sized, 55 and in a professional field. Finding plus sizes that don’t look frumpy is a challenge for sure. I find that knowing your proportions and strengths is crucial. I can’t wear a dolman sleeve or a too short top. But I can wear white jeans which updates everything! (Not at work) A trendy color needs a classic shape. A trendy shape needs a classic color.
Nada Manley says
Hi Jenn! Thanks so much for this text! We are about the same age and I know how challenging it is to dress at this age. Many of my clients are this same age and it’s a real struggle to find clothes that are not too young but not matronly either. But you totally have the right idea! Tory Burch and J. Crew and Banana are classic without being at all frumpy, but Soft Surroundings, J. Jill and Chico’s are another decade or two off for you. At least. :))) I even created a Pinterest board all about it. 🙂 https://www.pinterest.com/thebeautymommy/how-not-to-dress-old/
JeNN says
Hello i really appreciated this article and i won’t head into. Soft surroundings, j Jill, or Chico’s any more. I was heading there and I see my errors! I am 45 a size 10 and just want to be classic with a mix. I love j crew, banana republic, White House black maket and joes jeans you mentioned. Sometimes Anthropologie and free people. Been fallin in love with Tory Birch and can’t beat a nice camel cashmere from Talbots! Love Talbots pants with stretch for work and they wash great. Thank you again Paige jeans are nice as well as cut a bit higher for our baby growers!
Nada Manley says
Hi Joyce! I soooo agree!! Unfortunately all clothes, regardless of the demographic they are aimed at, are shot on 20 yer old models. LOL I think that’s changing, but slowly…
Joyce says
For a blog on how not to look old, show the dresses on the appropriate model; a 50, 60, 70 yyear old.
Seeing these fashions on young, thin girl with long hair and perfect skin (not only on the face, but the arms and legs too) seem incongrous. Let’s see some real older women.
Nada Manley says
Hi Rosie! I’m so glad you found this helpful! Thank you! I will be 48 in March and I know just what you mean. I do think the lines between dressing in your 30s and dressing in your 40s have become blurred. 40 is the new 30, right? LOL Macy’s has some great brands, but there are also some minefields, as there are at any department store. In general, stay away from Alex Evenings, Karen Scott, JM Collection, Kasper, Alfred Dunner, Alfani and Charter Club, though each of these brands has some decent basics. The lines I do love are BCBG, Maison Jules, Bar III, Bardot, Buffalo, Blank, ASTR, Avec les Filles (though some pieces are too young), CeCe, Jill Stuart, Catherine Malandrino, the denim brands (AG, Joe’s), Nanette Lepore and Laundry. INC is hit and miss. Some stores have a great assortment and at others it is just so boring. I agree about Zara. Love it! GAP is great for updated basics, which is great for rounding out your wardrobe, but I don’t think a full wardrobe of GAP would be all that interesting. A combination of Gap and Zara is a great balance of basic and trendy, but either alone would probably be too much. I hope that helps!
Rosie c. says
Hi! I am 48 yrs. old, very interesting article and came very helpful. My sister, who is 16 yrs younger, always wants me to dress young, almost like her ! Lol, I tell her that as a mom and older than her, sometimes it’s not appropriate. I like to shop almost all at Macy’s, love Zara, and sometimes Gap. Could you mention some of the brands that Macy’s has and right for my age? What do think about Gap?
Thank you!
Nada Manley says
Hi Gayle! You can’t go wrong with Jackie O style. 🙂 A classic sheath, fit and flare or A-line dress is universally flattering. Choose a style that is classic but still contemporary. The easiest way to do this is to shop the contemporary brands and stay away from brands targeted at an older consumer, whenever possible. I really like this dress! https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tahari-bi-stretch-sheath-dress-regular-petite/4104576?origin=leftnav&cm_sp=Left%20Navigation-_-Work
Gayle says
I see what’s bad but still not sure what’s good.
I’m 77 and often I try to dress like Jackie Kennedy. White jeans, black sweater. Don’t know what to do about a dress!
Thanks.
Nada Manley says
I completely agree with you! Dress for who you are and where you are at now and enjoy and celebrate it. Someday you will look different and at that point you can dress for that stage. I’m with you on skinny jeans too… Love them and want to wear them forever.
Lilac B. says
I am 57 , 103 pounds, asian and a size 0. People tell me I look half my age but I feel my age ( such as hot flashes and minor aches and joint pains) . My husband is 10 years older but looks at least 10 years younger. When we go out, I used to try to wear age appropriate clothes so people won’t think he robbed the cradle so to speak. But realized, , I need to wear what looks good on me . I’m sure my looks will soon catch up with my age. I will only be at this stage in my life once, I have to put on what looks good on me and not dress for others. I will live and dress for today, not for tomorrow. I try to follow clothing trends but tweaks it to suit me. I love love skinny jeans ( I hope it never goes out of style). Pair it with ankle boots or a nice midheel sandal with a nice top and I’m ready to go!
Nada Manley says
Hi Judith! Thank you sooo much for this comment! I am positive that it’s going to inspire other women as it has me! I love that you have chosen to embrace color and return to your true boho style at this stage of your life, when you have the freedom to dress as you want. Thanks for sharing this! Please share a picture when you get a chance! I’d love to see one of your exciting outfits! God bless. 🙂
Judith says
I just turned 70 and have purchased a bunch of colorful clothes and it’s been so much fun. I think a person who isn’t overweight has way more options at any age. I was a super hippie and I’ve brought back some elements of boho to my wardrobe to add interest. By the way 70 is fun – retirement means freedom from ‘work clothes’. One of the highlights of my day is choosing an exciting outfit from my closet just for me!
P.s. I still have my red hair (with just a touch of grey) and I wear jeggings and funky wedgies (Flys).
Nada Manley says
Yay. Nice to hear from a fellow Floridian! I am torn on this. I think the problem is confidence. I believe that if you have the body type and are fit enough to pull off a bikini, then that is great, but the bikini style shouldn’t be the exact style you wore at 20. I agree with you, though, that I cringe because so many women wear them and are clearly not comfortable in them, and that lack of confidence shows. A really stylish one piece would be much more flattering in that case. 🙂 I am in the same age group and definitely pick one pieces these days. LOL
Cindy in Florida says
I loved your article and you were spot on. I am laughing because I see woman in their 40s and 50s wearing a bikini and it makes me cringe. I am in that age group and v try physically git, I would die before wearing a bikini. What are your thoughts?
Nada Manley says
I soooo agree Honi! The clothes are either too old or too young, for the most part. Some lines that I feel usually have options for stylish women in their 50s include GetDressed2.com, Theory, Eileen Fisher, Sundance, etc. but honestly my style is really going to stay very much the same as I transition into my 50s, but with a few tweaks. I will be wearing Karen Millen, Ted Baker, Kate Spade, Diane von Furstenberg and other fun, colorful styles for as long as I am able, and I think if you are fit and take great care of yourself, you should do the same. 🙂
Honi says
The most challenging part is being 55, in good shape, and not wanting to look old. I also don’t want to look like I’m wearing my daughters clothes. There aren’t a lot of designers who hit this demographic just right!
Nada Manley says
I think it’s Gianni Bini, but I’ll check for you!
Denise says
I love the pink dress! Do you know the brand?
Thanks
Denise
Nada Manley says
Thanks Gwen! I’m glad you agree. I think knowing which brands to shop and which to avoid is such a time and sanity saver. 🙂
Gwen says
Hi
I’m actually 55 and still want to dress cool and young without being frumpy or by trying too hard. You are right on.J.Jill is too old and Forever 21 is too young. Quality and cut is very important once you hit 35 Love your blog. Gwen
Megan says
Thank you for this great advice!! I’m 31 (soon to be 32) and am at a strange turn in my life where the clothes I have are starting to not seem so age appropriate. Time to go shopping I suppose!!